He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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