I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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