I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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