he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
