I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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