I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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