Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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