i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize