Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize