hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
