sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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