My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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