Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
