i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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