We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
