i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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