Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
