11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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