Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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