were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
