My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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