Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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