It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
