I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
