Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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