We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
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