I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
