Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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