I wish they made helmets for livers.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
