just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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