I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
