Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
