Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
