I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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