i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
