Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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