Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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