I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize