just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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