i jhust puked up my retainher.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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