Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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