I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Where is the hickey?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
