I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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