...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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