Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
