my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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