thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
