We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
