after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize