I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
