I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
