btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
even my farts smell like vagina
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
