you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
