He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
