they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
