i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
