I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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