we're chasing vodka with high fives
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Watching her eat just hurts me
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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