sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
