Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
