I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We were destined to go to rehab together
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
