My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
