I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
