woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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